Part Ten ~ Mammo Followup/Rectal Surgeon/Improvements

The follow up for my mammogram had lots of films of lots of different angles, and she left to show the doc, came back and said he needed more. My poor boobs, but when she came back in the room and said they needed even more pix to “verify what they saw” my knees went weak. I expressed my anxiety and she was super sweet and did more pix with different plates (I lost count how my shots she took, we used every plate in the room, and took multiple angles). She disappeared again and left me to stress. She came back smiling and said I was good to go and they would see me back next year. She also apologized and she explained she should've said they needed more films to verify that they couldn’t see what the original report said. I left with a weight off my shoulders. Good for another year at least.

Things remained the same with stomach knotting and gas but my stools one day were a normal consistency and I could control them! I was so happy! You just don't know. But my mom did, poor woman - every time I came out of the bathroom she got an update. Here I was 47 and telling my mommy about my poop. 

But I still had a pain in my tush, the rectum pain. I don't know if it was getting worse or if with everything else calming down I noticed it more, but I called the Gastro doc and she referred me to an ass doctor (rectal surgeon) saying I probably had hemorrhoids, and she gave me a script for a cream. That cream was the best thing, I felt so much better after two weeks on it. But then BOOM I had a flare up on the day after I stopped, and it was bad! I don't know why or how and the meds wouldn't work any more. I did research online and it said I shouldn't have used it for more than a week at a time without doc approval, well, no one gave me any guidance when it was given to me. The tube just said to use it three times per day for symptoms. I went out a purchased a rubber donut to sit on, it helped a great deal. But when not using it, I had to sit at an angle with all my weight on my left hand side. It was hell getting in and out of vehicles, and sitting in them. This caused horrible pains in my back, hips and legs from not sitting properly. 

The referral for the surgeon was put through and the doc I wanted to see after researching ass doctors was available the next week. My insurance company stuck it to me again. They denied the doctor I wanted and sent me to the Navy Medical Center. But get this, the appointment was six weeks away! I cried.

I did a lot of crying that year, I probably cried more in six months than I ever did in my whole life. Not only did I cry daily through this, I cried several times per day, and usually was at my worst around 6pm each and every day, mom called it the Melt Down Hour. My poor mom and husband. They didn't know what to do with me, and they kept getting so frustrated that I wouldn't eat or sleep. I think they thought it was due to stress, but nope, I can honestly say now, sure stress was a factor, but the meds and illness screwed up my body so much. I've always heard about the Mind-Gut connection, if one isn't right the other isn't, and I am a true believer in that now. I learned firsthand. Those meds and illness screwed me up so bad.

So while waiting the six weeks for my ass appt, my body had healed a great deal more. I'm just about eating normal again, well as normal as I could. Certain foods would bother my stomach so I ate bland. I stopped losing weight and gained six pounds. That made me happy. Because more than one doc put it in my head that losing so much weight and so fast could be due to cancer. All the blood work said otherwise, but as I lost more weight I couldn't believe what ALL the tests were telling me. I started at 197.5 lbs in Dec and dropped down to 158 in a matter of a couple months. There are still some foods I can't eat and sometimes food I think I'm safe with make me ill, but I just have to deal with it. I have no choice.

I finally saw the rectal surgeon (a good looking man which is oddly uncomfortable to me - it would have been easier to have an older or less attractive person looking at my ass) anyway, I saw him and he put me in a precarious position, on my belly and inverted on a table high up in the air, and he did a digital exam like many before him did, and then stuck a plastic tube in there with a light and while he, the intern, and the female standby all looked inside my rectum I heard murmurs of hemorrhoid. I got dressed the doc came back in, and said I had an internal hemorrhoid trying to be an external one. But it was only a stage one, and I could get relief by using creams and taking Metamucil twice per day, and I should notice a difference in five days. Well the stuff bugs my tummy so I didn't take full doses, but I was hopeful. The doc said we all have hemorrhoids (it's a legit body part) and explained how they work and that mine was aggravated from everything it had been through and listening to my story and symptoms I most likely had a tear in the same area as my little roid.

*Sigh* flare ups brought me knotting of my stomach again. That symptom hadn't been around in weeks. So I wonder if the tear and roid were what caused the knotting all those months ago. It also increased the lower right "ovary" pain I have. I'm going to give this several more months and if I'm still where I am today, I will go back to the Gastro doc and the Surgeon. I can't live like this forever, I mean I guess I will if I have to, but if I don't I need to fix it. I'm sure I missed something or something is out of order. 

I sat down one day last early year and wrote out this whole ordeal, which is now up to Part Ten of my blog. 

Here are misc notes I had off to the side:

I'm not proof reading this LOL. I know it's all over the place with point of view, tense, and just insanity. It's many words long which is the most I've written since last October (2017)! My mental state prevented me from writing or reading or watching tv. My brain wouldn't allow me to concentrate or understand things. But my brain has come back to me mostly. I'm about 90% back to my old self. I've read thru my adult series and corrected some stuff, and have been editing some other work in the making. That's all I can handle, but I've been itching to write so that's a good thing!

So now that you guys know more about my body than the average person... LOL